From Afar
by X-Keva-X
Summary: Xemnas is dead. Saix is depressed. Someone keeps putting love letters in his locker. And Marluxia is sick of Saix being such a b-h about every little thing in his life. What's worse is his relationship with his best friend is falling apart around him. Without Luxord he has no one especially since it was his fault Xemnas died. Rated for language.


Another fic I've had sitting around for like ever. Might as well post it and see if anyone still cares about these two. Much love for you all. Keva

xx

Saïx stared at the blue envelope someone had stuck into his locker and pressed his lips together tightly. Every week for the last month he would find a card in his locker from a _'secret admirer'_ or so it was signed and for the life of him he couldn't figure out who it was.

He did some heavy interrogating of his friends which included threats of pain and torture if they didn't tell him who it was and they didn't know anymore than he did.

When he found out who it was he was surely going to smash their face into the ground and find much pleasure in doing so.

"Another one?"

He stuffed the card into his math book and glowered at the red head leaning against the locker next to him. "Don't you have a wall you can slam you head against;" he closed his locker and began walking down the hall towards his first class. "until you fall dead." He growled.

Axel chuckled as he walked next to him. "Luv you too man." He slapped him on the shoulder.

"What do you want?"

"Well I was thinking..." he quickly held up a silencing hand. "you can save the comments; I've heard em all."

He was tempted to roll his eyes but settled for an annoyed sigh instead.

"Anyways I was thinking that you didn't start getting those cards in your locker until after the new guy started. Maybe it's him." He shrugged.

"I hardly think it was him." He snorted. "That kid can barely look anyone in the eye let alone admire someone enough to leave cards."

"I guess." He shrugged. "I just want to know who it is." He glowed. "Ya gotta love a mystery."

Saïx sat down at his desk and grunted. "Well when you find out who it is tell them I'm going to rip their eyes from their head for being so stupid."

"Ouch." Luxord chuckled as he sat down and turned to face the blue haired boy behind him. "Who got on your bad side?"

"He got another card." Axel grinned at him.

"Ah yes." He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Still haven't figured out who it is then?"

"If I had I would be beating them to death right now instead of sitting here talking about it with you two."

"So violent." Luxord chuckled. "Maybe that's what turns them on about you."

Saïx snorted and opened his book. "Don't be so stupid. Whomever it is is completely delusional."

"Can't wait to meet em then sounds like my kind of man or woman which ever the case may be." Axel chuckled.

"Idiot." Saïx grumbled under his breath then began reading his assignment.

xx

"I'll take the bus."

Luxord sighed deeply. "Why take the bus only to come half way back to my house. I'll take you to get your stuff and save you a lot of stops along the way. We go through this every week why do you have to keep fighting with me?"

"Why can't you just let me do what I want?" Saïx growled.

"Because you always want to do things the hard way which is also the bloody stupid way." He grabbed him by the shoulder and began leading him towards the parking lot.

"Why didn't you stay in Moscow?" He growled with a shrug of his shoulder to get him to let go.

"I wasn't in Moscow." He pulled the car keys from his pocket with a huff. "I was in London visiting my family." He looked over the top of the car at him. "For being Mr. Honor Roll you're not very smart."

"Don't call me that!" He got in and slammed the car door shut angrily when Luxord unlocked it.

Luxord got in and stared over at the blue haired boy. "So what has your knickers in a twist today?"

"You; you always do this."

"Do what?" He started the car and pulled it our of its parking space.

"Make me do stuff I don't want to do." He glowered over at him.

"I don't make you do anything." He smirked. "Only point you in the direction of reason."

"Doing what YOU want me to do is not reason it's just selfishness."

"How is making things easier for you being selfish?" He glanced over at him and arched a brow.

Saïx narrowed his amber eyes deeply as he stared at him. "Because it's about you it's always about you."

"Are you saying you hate me?" He frowned.

He finally gave into the urge to roll his eyes. "Does your stupidity know no bounds?"

"Then what are you saying?" He stopped the car at a red light and looked over at him. "Is this about me giving you a ride or is this about you moving out of that hotel room your mother has you two crammed in?" His eyes narrowed slightly as he continued to stare at him. "No, this is about Xemnas isn't it?"

Saïx turned and stared out the window with a deep sigh. "I don't want to talk about it." He bit out just above a whisper.

Luxord stared hard at him for a moment and shook his head. He wasn't done talking about it not by a long shot.

xx

"I don't see why you won't do it." Luxord sighed deeply as he plopped down on the couch. "She's a bloody drug addict that doesn't give a damn about you." He narrowed his eyes upon his friend. "If she did you wouldn't be living as you do barely surviving. I mean look at you," he grabbed him by the wrist. "you're so damn thin you're nothing but skin and bones."

Saïx jerked his hand from his hold. "It's not your business what I do! So just drop it."

"One of these days someone is going to call child services and you're going to get taken away. Is that what you want; to be taken away from your school and your friends? You'll be forced to live with some foster family that doesn't understand you and wants you to do things their way." He sighed deeply. "Now if you live here you'll still have your freedoms but you'll also have it better then what that woman can give you."

"I can't leave her." He sighed and looked away from his friend. "She's still my mom no matter how neglectful she is."

Luxord slouched against the couch and sighed deeply. "At some point neglect outweighs the blood bond between a mother and her son. If she cared about you at all she wouldn't do what she does." He stared pointedly at him. "Saïx you need her and she isn't there for you. All that matters to her is whoring herself out to support her drug habit. How much longer until she puts you both out on the street because she spent every last dime she has to get her next high; then what are you going to do?"

Saïx turned and stared at him.

"Live here with me where you'll be safe. You know my parents want you to the only reason they haven't turned your mom in is because I won't let them."

"Fine!" He bit out and turned to stare angrily at the wall away from his friend. He knew Luxord was right and for so long he wanted to leave his mom and come live with him but it was his mom and he did love her. Yet at some point he was going to have to realize that his mom didn't give a damn about him.

"Good," Luxord smiled at him. "we'll go get the rest of your stuff tomorrow." As he stared at him he was tempted to bring up the issue with Xemnas but decided that now wasn't the time. Saïx could only handle so much stress in one sitting. "So what do you want to do for the rest of the day?"

"Homework."

Luxord rolled his eyes and slumped his shoulders. "You can do homework later."

Saïx snorted at that. "If I do it now I won't have to worry about doing it later and I won't have to scramble to get it done at the last minute like some people."

"Hey I take offense." He smirked at him. "And at least I get it done and turned in."

Saïx grunted and opened his math book causing the blue envelope to fall out and before he could do anything Luxord snatched it from his lap.

"Lets see what this one says." He grinned suggestively at his friend. "Maybe it has a dirty poem in it."

"Throw it away." He waved a dismissive hand through the air.

Luxord pulled the card from the envelope and looked over at him. "Someone went through a lot of trouble to give you this the least you could do is humor them."

"I humor them by not finding out who it is and gutting them." He nodded curtly as he wrote down the math problems.

Luxord snorted then read the card aloud.

"To my dear Saïx. Your amber eyes glow like a setting sun. Your pale skin is like the finest of cream. I hear your voice like a whisper of snow and I wait to hear the words I so long to speak to you. For now I will love you from afar until the day you shed your past and look to the future where you will find me. Love always your secret admirer."

"Well," he looked over at him. "isn't that rather romantic."

"It's ridiculous throw it away."

Luxord rubbed his chin in thought as he stared at the card. "You do know there is a clue in here." When Saïx looked over at him he nodded curtly. "The fact that it talks about shedding your past means the person knows you. I bet whoever it is is closer to you than you think."

Saïx narrowed him ambers suspiciously. "You?"

Luxord chuckled at that. "Not my style mate. I'm more the throw you to the floor and take you like the wild animal you are kind of guy." He leered at him. "You want me to throw you to the floor and have my way with you?"

"Stop it!" He shoved him away when he leaned in close.

Luxord slumped back to his side of the couch and sighed. "Another cut of the blade through my heart. Alas will I forever be forsaken for the love that flows through me?"

"Well we now know it wasn't you who wrote the card that was terrible." He wrinkled his nose at him. "Just because you have the accent doesn't mean you were gifted with the ability of speech." He looked over at him and smirked. "You're rather common when it comes right down to it."

"Ha... Ha..." He rolled his eyes at him and tossed the card on the table as he watched Saïx go back to work on his math homework.

xx

Saïx snapped his eyes open and stared up at the ceiling. "Another dream." He whispered to himself and wiped the sheen of sweat from his brow as he tried to even out his breathing.

He quietly got out of the bed, left the room, and made for the bathroom. He closed the door, flipped the light on, and stared at his flushed face in the mirror hating what he saw.

The X scar on his brow was going to forever be a reminder of that day a day he would never forget as long as he lived. "Xemnas." He sighed sadly as he stared at the scar. It was fitting that he had an X on his face it was Xemnas' initial there to remind him of what he lost or more to the point who he killed.

He splashed some cold water on his face to clear his head then moved to sit on the edge of the bathtub after drying off with the hand towel. A deep sigh expanded his chest as he stared down at the white tiles of the bathroom floor.

"Another one?" Luxord questioned from the doorway and watched as his friend gave a small nod of his head. He sighed deeply and shook his head. "It wasn't your fault. Why do you keep blaming yourself?"

"Because if I had just told him no we wouldn't have been on that road."

"That doesn't mean it was your fault." He moved to sit next to him. "How were either of you to know you would get into an accident that night? The fault lies squarely on the shoulders of the man who decided to drive drunk and no one else's."

"I should have told him no." He slumped deeply. "I wanted to tell him no but I couldn't." He whispered sadly.

Luxord put his arm over his shoulders comfortingly. "Saïx I'm sure Xemnas wouldn't want you torturing yourself like this. He would want you to move on and live a happy life."

"I miss him." He laid his head against Luxord's shoulder.

"I know." Luxord squeezed him comfortingly. "As long as you remember him he'll always be with you." He stood up pulling Saïx up with him. "Come on you can stay with me tonight."

Saïx let Luxord lead him to his bedroom and crawled into the bed next to his best friend.

"No more bad dreams." Luxord nodded and curled his arm over Saïx's side.

Saïx nodded against his shoulder, let his eyes fall closed feeling safe and warm, and wished Luxord was like him.

He did have a secret crush on his best friend but Luxord didn't play his way. Yet that didn't mean he couldn't take moments like these and hold onto them and pretend even for just a moment that they were together.

xx

"I can't believe you dragged me to this." Saïx growled and threw his books down onto the table and sat down.

Luxord rolled his eyes as he sat next to him. "It's not going to kill you to get out of the house for awhile."

"I get out of the house everyday when I go to school. That should be enough." He growled and grabbed his science book.

"There's more to life than school and" he jerked the book from his hand. "burying you nose in a book all day."

Saïx snatched the book back and glared at him. "How I choose to spend my weekends is none of you concern. You don't hear me lecturing you about sitting at the park all weekend gambling your allowance away playing your stupid games."

Luxord shook his head and sighed deeply. "Well I guess you are out of the house so that's something."

Saïx grunted at him then opened his science book and picked up reading where he left off when Luxord so rudely forced him to come with him.

"You ready to lose?" Xigbar questioned as he sat down across from Luxord.

"You say that every time we play and you have yet to win." Luxord smirked at him.

Xigbar smirked back. "Yea but this week I have a lucky charm." He held up a black dreadlock.

Luxord chuckled with a shake of his head. "Well that explains the black eye." He nodded. "Tell me how did you manage to get it cut off his head in the first place?"

"Skill and lot of luck." Xigbar nodded.

"More like a lot of luck and a lot of running away." Saïx snorted from within his book.

"Running away... skill..." Xigbar waved a dismissive hand through the air. "It's all the same."

"Yes it does take a lot of skill to run." Saïx grunted then buried himself further into his book. "Especially in your case."

"Ha... Ha..." Xigbar glowered at him.

"Alright lets get this started." Luxord nodded then put a ten on the table.

xx

"I win again." Luxord grinned over at his one eyed friend.

"Man!" Xigbar growled. "My dad's going to kill me that was my car payment." He suddenly narrowed his eye upon the blond man.

Luxord arched a blonde brow highly in question already knowing where this was going.

"Double or nothing, do or die."

"Do or die? Well," Luxord gave a rub of his chin in thought. "alright you're on." He pulled his wallet out of his pocket, removed a hundred dollar bill, and laid it on the table.

Xigbar laid his last hundred on top of Luxord's and stared at him. "Alright what'll it be?"

"I'm a sporting man so I'll let you decide and give you a chance to save your ass from daddy's belt." He smirked at him.

"Fine" his amber eye glinted darkly as he glanced over at Saïx. "your funeral."

"Put it on the table." Luxord nodded and tapped his finger against the stack of cash on the table.

"Thirty seconds with Saïx right here right now." He grinned evilly at the Brit knowing full well he had this one since there was no way Saïx would allow it and especially since Luxord didn't play that way.

Saïx looked up from he book when he heard his name and from the look on Xigbar's face they had involved him in their stupid game. "No." He growled as he glowered across the table at Xigbar only to snap his head over to Luxord.

"Done." Luxord nodded and turned to face his friend.

Before he could say or do anything Luxord grabbed him by the face, pressed their lips together, and slipped his powerful tongue deep into his mouth. All he could do was stare wide eyed at his best friend as he swirled his tongue against his own.

Luxord pulled back and stared at his friend for a short moment before he trailed his thumb over Saïx's bottom lip to wipe the moisture away. He gave him a quick wink before he turned and faced a gap-jawed Xigbar. "Looks like someone is going to feel the sting of leather tonight." He chuckled.

"Man!" Xigbar snapped out of his shock and stared hard at Saïx. "Why didn't you beat his ass for that?!"

Saïx looked from Luxord to Xigbar and narrowed his ambers to deadly little slits. "How about I gut you first for involving me in this." He growled, grabbed his books, got up, and stormed angrily over to Luxord's car. He got in and slammed the door as hard as he could nearly shattering the window.

Luxord grabbed the money off the table. "Bloody hell." He growled to himself knowing he was going to have a pissed off Saïx on his hands for the rest of the day. "I'll see you next week if you manage to survive daddy's beating."

"You're on!" Xigbar nodded curtly then stood up. He was going to have to scramble to come up with the money for his car payment. Maybe he could sell Xaldin his lock of hair back.

Luxord got into the car and stared over at his friend. "I know." He nodded. "I shouldn't have let him involve you. I know you hate being used like that. I apologize."

Saïx stared over at him angrily. "Just take me home." He growled then looked out the passenger's window.

He sighed deeply as he started the car and pulled it away from the curb. The rest of the day was going to be a long one. He was going to have to placate Saïx for using him like he did even if he wasn't really sorry for it at all.

xx

Saïx stormed into his room and slammed the door in Luxord's face before he could follow him in.

Luxord sighed deeply and opened the door. "I find it hard to believe you're this angry over that." He closed the door behind him.

Deep ambers narrowed as he glared deadly at him. "Get out!" He hissed with a pointed finger towards the door.

"No." He shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what your problem is." He took a few steps closing the distance between them.

Saïx backed away not wanting him anywhere near him. "I am not some toy you can play with at a whim just to prove you can win something." He growled.

"I wasn't playing with you." He again walked towards him putting him at arms reach.

"If that's not what that was then do tell; what was it?!"

"Something you needed." He shrugged lightly.

Saïx ground his teeth together sharply getting more pissed off by the second. "I do not NEED that from you! It hurts bad enough already!"

"Is that what this is about; Xemnas?" He arched a brow at him.

"No." He growled as his anger dissipated some when he realized he was about to reveal his secret.

Luxord moved in on him backing him against the wall and trapping him by placing his hands flat against the wall on either side of his head. "What is it then?" He questioned as he locked his hard blue with his even harder ambers.

"Nothing, just get away from me." He gave a small push against his chest.

"No it's something and I'm not letting you go until you tell me what it is."

Saïx stared hard at him. "Let me go." He hissed darkly and gave a hard push against him to try to move him away.

Luxord leaned in further refusing to budge an inch. "Answer me; what is this really about?"

"None of your business." He growled, dropped his arms to his sides, curled his fists, and looked away form him. "Just leave me alone."

Luxord leaned in putting his lips just a hairsbreadth away from his ear. "I know what you are hiding." He whispered.

Saïx widened his eyes hugely and just as he was about to respond to that Luxord continued.

"You're in love with someone but you think you'll be betraying Xemnas if you move on; right?" He pressed his forehead against the side of Saïx's head. "Saïx Xemnas would want you to move on. Find happiness for his sake and yours."

He ground his teeth together sharply and shoved him this time succeeding in feeing himself. "Not everything is about Xemnas!" He stormed over to the bed and grabbed his bag. "You don't know anything about me or what I really want!" His ambers narrowed to deadly little slits as his voice dropped to a cold whisper. "You're supposed to be my best friend and of all people I would think you would know me well enough to know that. It's quite obvious you don't know anything about me at all!" With that he turned and stormed towards the door. "We're done." He growled coldly then stormed out slamming the door behind him.

Luxord watched him go not really sure what any of that had to do with anything.

xx

Saïx sat at his desk staring at his book trying with all his might to ignore the being sitting in front of him staring at him.

"Saïx."

He breathed deeply in annoyance through his nose and finally answered without looking up. "What?"

"Why did you leave?" Luxord questioned and placed his hand in the center of Saïx's book in an attempt to distract him from his reading and to get him to look at him.

He slumped in the shoulders with a deep tired sigh. "You know why."

Actually he didn't know why and he knew if he tried to press him for a reason all he would be doing is pushing him further away. "When are you coming home?"

He finally looked up at him and slowly shook his head. "I'm not."

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it." He sighed deeply partially in frustration partially in sadness.

"How can I fix it if I don't know what it is?" Luxord pressed beginning to get rather annoyed.

Before he could stop himself the words passed his lips words he had no intention of saying. "Can you fix yourself? It's you it's always you that's the problem." His amber eyes widened as he locked stares with him. "No." He gave a small shake of his head. "That's... No... I..." He didn't know what to say and he suddenly felt like he was going to hurl.

Luxord pulled his hand back and stared blankly at him for a long moment before he responded. "I see." He gave a small curt nod then turned to face the front of the class.

He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he really wanted to grab Luxord by the back of the head and smash his face against the desk.

He leaned down and pressed his forehead against his book and sighed deeply first Xemnas and now Luxord. He certainly knew how to kill people... literally and metaphorically. Why was he cursed to love people who either didn't love him back or left his life never to return?

Maybe he was paying for the sins of his mother or for the sins of his past life either way his life was miserable and very lonely.

xx

Saïx opened his locker and stared at the red envelope lying on top of his books. It wasn't Friday so who ever it was admiring him from afar must have decided to take it up a notch. Though what good would it do especially if he didn't know WHO it was.

He grabbed the card and stared at his name written across the front. "It's better I don't know who you are." He nodded to the card. "I'd only hurt you in the end." He tucked the card into his pocket, grabbed the needed books for his next class, and shut his locker just as Marluxia appeared next to him. "What?"

"I hear you and Luxord had another fight." He began walking next to him when he walked away without a word. "So what was it this time; the thing at the park?"

"Mind your own business." He growled and walked a little faster in hopes he would take the hint but Marluxia only took a hint when he wanted to and apparently he didn't want to today.

"I don't see what the big deal is." He waved a hand through the air. "So what, Luxord kissed you to win a bet there's worse things he could have done."

"That's not the point." He bit out.

"Then what is the point?" He opened the door to their class.

Saïx stopped and glared at him. "The point is he used me for his own personal gain."

Marluxia shrugged his shoulder. "So what. You use him all the time what's the difference?"

"I do not!" He bit out, stormed into the class room, and took his seat.

Marluxia sat down next to him and shook his head. "Oh but you do. You," he pointed a finger at him when he glared at him. "stay with him on the weekends, he buys you clothes, makes sure you have lunch everyday, and all those other things he does for you."

"That is not using him." He bit out. "He does those things of his own free will."

"No it's using him." He ran his fingers through his hair in that haughty manner that always seemed to piss Saïx off. "Do you tell him not to do it or thank him or pay him back;" he smirked. "ever? No you don't so taking without ever doing anything in return is using him." He nodded thoughtfully. "The way I see it is he used you one time in a big way and you used him tons of times in little ways so your even."

"That is not the same! And besides I don't see where it's any of your business." He glared deadly at him.

Marluxia shrugged dismissively. "It's not my business just making conversation."

"Well I suggest you pick a different topic." He narrowed his ambers deeply. "Or better yet stop talking to me period."

He smiled hugely at him. "I can't do that. I find taking to you to be very entertaining."

"Rot in hell." He growled then turned away from him.

Marluxia's words left a bad taste in his mouth and not an altogether welcome heaviness on his chest. Did he really use Luxord all the time?

Sure he had told him not to do stuff for him but after awhile he quit telling him not to because he would ignore him and do it anyway. So he just let him since it's what he wanted to do anyway.

Granted he never thanked Luxord for anything he did but damn he never wanted what his friend did for him. Yet did that mean he used him even though he never wanted it? Now that he really thought about it it certainly felt like he did.

Damn that Marluxia damn him straight to hell!

xx

Saïx sat at the lunch table staring at the red envelope in his hand silently arguing with himself whether he wanted to open it or not. On one hand he was afraid that it might finally reveal who it was giving him the cards on the other hand he thought whomever it was giving them to him was a complete idiot.

He tucked the card back into his pocket deciding to argue with himself about it later and went about working on his homework instead. As he opened his book something caught his attention from the corner of his eye forcing him to turn fully to see what it was and suddenly wishing he didn't.

He felt like he was going to hurl as he stared at Luxord who had his arm around that Tifa girl and he was actually letting her hug him and kiss on him. Yes he was definitely going to be sick.

He slammed his book closed, packed it into his backpack, got up, and decided his day was over. He was never one for skipping classes but at the moment it felt very much like the right thing to do.

xx

"Where did you go after lunch yesterday?"

Saïx looked up at his... was he still his best friend after the last few of days? It felt like he should be but it also felt like that relationship was dying like so many other things in his life. "I didn't feel well."

Luxord stared at him suspiciously through narrowed eyes. "I find that very difficult to believe. You've never been sick not once since I've known you."

"Well there's a first time for everything." He nodded curtly and changed the subject changed it to something he did not want to talk about. However his curiosity forced him to pose the question he was scared to hear the answer to. "So are you dating Tifa now?"

Luxord shrugged dismissively. "I wouldn't say dating just killing time."

Saïx narrowed his ambers suspiciously. "What does that even mean?"

"It means I'm having a problem in my life I can't fix and I'm using her as a distraction." He huffed in annoyance.

"And what problem would that be? Your harem of females is fighting over who's going to get to go with you to the winter dance." He bit out his voice laced heavily with venom and he didn't care in the least if Luxord picked up on it or not.

"Such hostility." Luxord pointed out. "And would you care to explain to me why you would care so much about my harem of females. It never bothered you before."

"It doesn't bother me!" He bit out. "You want to whore yourself out then by all means go ahead." He waved a hand through the air.

Luxord ground his teeth together and slammed his fists on Saïx's desk causing him to start. "What in bloody hell is wrong with you?! I want answers and I want them right fucking now!"

Saïx stared wide eyed at him. When Luxord cursed like that he was severely pissed off and only a second away from punching someone in the mouth. And it looked like it was going to be him that got punched. "My problem is... is..."

So bad he wanted to tell him that he was deeply jealous of his relationships with every female he ever had hanging off his arm. He wanted to tell him it hurt deeply that he used him to win a bet when he so badly wanted him to kiss him like that and for it to mean something. But most of all he wanted to tell him he loved him loved him as much as he loved Xemnas.

"What?!" Luxord narrowed his eyes further. "What is it Saïx?!"

"Nothing." He sighed and looked down at his desk to break the eye contact between them.

"Nothing my ass." He hissed quietly when the teacher walked in. "This isn't over and by the end of the day we are going to sort this out." He growled then turned around in his chair.

Saïx laid his head down on his desk. They weren't going to fix this for in order to fix it he would have to tell him how he really felt. It would be a cold day in hell before he ever told him the truth. Luxord was out of his reach and always would be and he'd be damned if he was going to destroy what little was left of their friendship over something so stupid.

xx

"Another one?" Axel questioned from behind Saïx. "Who ever it is must really have the hots for you."

He was tempted to roll his eyes then stuck it into his backpack deciding to open it later when he was alone. "No who ever it is completely delusional." He nodded curtly, shut his locker, and began walking down the hall.

Axel rolled his eyes and shook his head then changed the subject. "So I heard you and Luxord had a fight this morning."

"It wasn't a fight." He growled not wanting to be reminded of it because it just led to the reminder Luxord was going to be waiting after school to talk about it.

"I heard Luxord dropped the F-bomb and he only does that when he's REALLY pissed off." He widened his eyes hugely.

"That doesn't mean it was a fight." He scowled as he stared at the floor watching the white tiles disappear under his feet. "It was a heated discussion and nothing more."

"Alright," he nodded. "so what was he so heated about?"

He pressed his lips together tightly and gave a curt shake of his head. "None of your damn business is what it was about."

"Come on man I want to know." He gave him a nudge.

Saïx looked over at him and glowered deadly. "Does the phrase _'curiosity killed the cat'_ mean anything to you?"

"Have you seen a cat die from its curiosity?" He countered. "I haven't." He shrugged dismissively.

"It's not meant to be taken in the literal sense."

Axel stared over at him blankly and scratched his head thoughtfully. "What other way is it meant to be taken? Someone came up with that because they must have seen a cat die from curiosity. Why would they make it up otherwise?"

Why did having these deep conversations with Axel always give him headaches? It almost felt like he was pointing out the flaw in his own argument or was he? "Do you just pretend to be stupid or are you really that dumb?"

Axel shrugged deeply. "I dunno, I guess it depends on what we're talking about."

He needed a couple of aspirin and if he was old enough and liked the taste enough he would want to do several shots as well. "Don't talk to me for the rest of the day you're giving me a migraine."

"You know people say that to me a lot." He chuckled.

Saïx snorted. "Then maybe you should seriously analyze what you're doing to make them say that and stop doing it."

"Nah I am what I am." He nodded as he walked into the classroom. "And I'm too lazy to change it."

For the millionth time since he met Axel he was tempted to roll his eyes and for the thousandth time in his life he gave into the urge quite liking how it felt at the moment. If there was one thing Axel was good for it was making him forget his problems even if it was for a moment.

xx

"I'm not going to let you ignore this." Luxord stood in front of Saïx blocking him against a wall.

"We'd both be better off if you did." He slumped against the wall.

"That remains to be seen." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Now you will explain to me what is going on with you and what you are hiding from me."

"I'm not hiding nothing from you. I just..." He trailed off, sighed sadly, and looked down at the concrete beneath his feet to break the stare between them. "I just don't think we should be friends anymore."

Luxord widened his eyes hugely as he stared at him. "Pardon; and why would you say such a thing?"

He sighed again and tried to hold his heart together by sheer force of will but it was for naught as it slowly cracked right down the center just waiting for the final blow to shatter it completely. "Because we are falling apart and the pain is too much so I just want to end it now."

So bad he wanted to punch him or bang his head against the wall in hopes of knocking some sense into him. "I'm certainly glad you are making choices for me for without you I don't think I would be able to think for myself." He growled causing Saïx to look up at him. "You think just because you say our friendship is over its over?"

"I said it would be best for both our sakes." He growled back and narrowed his ambers upon him.

"If this is about me kissing you at the park to win my bet then you are just as shallow as half the girls at this school."

Saïx widened his eyes slightly before he narrowed them further, curled his fist, and sent it flying right into Luxord's stomach. "I hate you! Don't ever talk to me again." With that he shoved him out of his way and stormed off trying to ignore the falling crystals of his shattered heart.

"You know what it is; do you not?"

Luxord stood up and turned to face the larger boy behind him. "What?"

Lexaeus sighed and watched Saïx cross the street heading for his house. "He's in love and he's torn between your friendship and the person he's in love with."

Luxord drew his brows deeply in thought. "And you wouldn't happen to know who he's in love with; would you?"

Lexaeus gave a small shrug of his shoulder. "I believe it's his secret admirer."

"I highly doubt that. He throws the cards away and never talks about it unless he's forced to."

"He suffers from loss," Lexaeus nodded at him. "and he's trying to fill that void. Even someone unknown is more real than nothing." He began walking away. "He has yet to truly cope with the loss of Xemnas and until he does he's only going to get worse in his behavior."

Luxord watched him go and sighed deeply. He was right Saïx never did truly acknowledge the pain of his loss and he was sure he was burying it deep down in hopes it would go away. It never would he knew it and he was going to have to make Saïx realize it as well; but how? He was going to need help with this and he knew just the person for the job.

xx

"What do you want?"

Marluxia leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms over his chest. "I WANT you to come with me."

Saïx narrowed his eyes suspiciously upon the boy. "Where?"

"Does it matter? Just get your stuff so we can go." He huffed irritably. "Why is everything with you such a battle? You act like the whole world is out to get you when in fact the world could care less about what you do."

He slammed his book closed and stood up. "Fine." He bit out deciding that just doing what Marluxia wanted would be a lot easier than arguing with him.

"Now was that so hard?" He sighed in annoyance and led the way out of the house. "So what's the deal with you and Luxord these days? I hear you told him you didn't want to be his friend anymore." He got into his car.

Saïx got into the passenger's seat and looked over at his friend. "It's complicated."

"Not really." He pulled the car from the curb and drove down the road. "Just tell him you love him and let him decide what he wants to do about it."

Amber eyes widened hugely at his words. "I don't love him." He growled once he got himself composed.

"Don't lie to me I can see it all over your face." He smirked over at him. "Only an idiot wouldn't be able to figure it out."

"Axel doesn't know it." He pointed out weakly.

"I said an idiot not an empty headed moron there's a big difference and don't change the subject."

He slumped in his seat and sighed deeply. "I'm not going to burden his life with my love you know he's not like us."

"So," Marluxia snorted. "that doesn't mean you can't tell him. If he's really your friend then telling him how you feel won't hurt either of you one bit. I mean it can't get any worse than it already is; can it?"

"I don't know." He gave a small shake of his head and looked out the window watching the scenery fly by. "Things were so much simpler when Xemnas was here." He whispered to himself. "I miss you."

Marluxia looked over at him from the corner of his eye and shook his head. Luxord was right Saïx had yet to cope with Xemnas' death and it looked like the loss of his first love was complicating everything else in his life. Well he was going to fix that he was going to force Saïx to face his loss and quit being such a bitch about everything.

xx

"What are we doing here?" Saïx bit out when Marluxia turned into the cemetery.

"You are going to finish this once and for all." Marluxia countered as he dove down the little gravel road.

"I finished it when I buried him."

"Did you?" Marluxia glanced over at him and arched a brow highly. "I suppose that is why you're so happy and moved on with your life because you FINISHED it." He brought the car to a stop and looked over at Saïx. "You are going to go over there," he nodded towards Xemnas' headstone. "and tell him everything. Now get out and don't come back until you're done."

"I am not doing this." Saïx growled deadly.

"Yes you are." Marluxia countered just as deadly, reached across his friend, and opened the door. "Now get out." He ordered with narrowed sapphires.

Saïx glowered over at him for a second before he unbuckled his seatbelt, got out of the car, and slammed the door behind him before walking over to where Xemnas was buried.

Marluxia watched him go then grabbed his book from the glove box and opened it to where he left off. He gave one more glance at Saïx standing in front of Xemnas' headstone. He then turned back to his book and began reading knowing full well with Saïx this was going to take awhile... a long while.

xx

Marluxia closed his book after reading the last page and looked at the clock on his radio. "Three hours?! Really how bad can it be?" He looked over at Saïx who was now kneeling down on the grass and decided that maybe he should check on him and see how he was hanging in there.

Saïx didn't look over at Marluxia when he kneeled next to him he just kept his eyes locked on Xemnas' name etched into the stone.

"Did you tell him?"

"I did." He gave a small curt nod. "He never answered."

Marluxia was tempted to roll his eyes at the stupidity of that statement but this wasn't the time for things like that. "Saïx he knows what you want deep in your heart and I'm sure wherever he is he wants you to be happy." He placed his hand on his friend's shoulder. "He will answer you and when he does you'll feel it deep in your heart."

Saïx gave a small curt nod and sighed sadly. "He promised me once that he would always take care of me and make sure that I would never hurt." He snorted. "I wish I knew he was going to break that promise."

"Saïx it's not his fault he broke his promise." Marluxia stared over at him. "There was no way either of you knew what was going to happen that day. If he was still alive I'm sure he would do everything in his power to keep his promise." He reached over and placed his hand flat against the stone covering Xemnas' name breaking Saïx's hard stare. "Let me ask you this; did he ever make a promise to you that he didn't keep? Besides that one."

Saïx having his stare broken looked over at him and gave a small curt shake of his head. "No." He whispered.

Marluxia kept his hand over Xemnas' name and looked over at him. "So tell me do you think he wanted to die in effect breaking his promise to you?"

Saïx shook his head and sighed sadly.

"You see," he pulled his hand away from the headstone. "he didn't intentionally break his promise and I'm sure he's still keeping it." He smiled a small smile at him. "Maybe he's the one that made you fall in love with Luxord knowing that aside from him Luxord is the only other person in this world that really knows you."

He looked at the headstone as well drawing his brows slightly. He never really thought of it that way then again he never really thought of much when it came to Xemnas' death other than he left him. "I don't know."

Marluxia stood up and looked down at his friend. "Maybe you should go home and spend some time really thinking about it. Think about how Xemnas would want you to deal with all of this instead of how YOU think you should deal with it."

Saïx gave a small nod and stood up after silently telling Xemnas that he loved and missed him.

xx

Saïx sat on the bed as he dug through his backpack searching for the one thing he would never lose, the one thing he would keep with him for the rest of his life, his little photo album.

He set his pack to the side once he had the little book in his hand and opened it up staring at the last picture him and Xemnas took together a week before the accident. Things seemed so perfect that day until three days later when they had that stupid fight.

It seemed so important at the time but now he could barely remember what it was about. Whatever it was it cost Xemnas his life and himself his happiness. Why didn't he just tell him not to come and get him? The words were right there for him to say when he called all he had to do was say them and Xemnas would be alive and well right now.

He wiped the small tear away that landed on the plastic cover of the picture only for it to be replaced by another. "I'm sorry." He whispered as he wiped that tear away as well then closed the book, hugged it to his chest, and curled up on the bed suffering in his pain alone and in silence.

xx

_"Do you think we'll be together forever?"_

Xemnas stroked his fingers through Saïx's hair. "Forever is a long time and no one person can know what the future will bring." When Saïx _turned his head to rest his chin on his chest and locked stares with him he gave a small smile. "For all either one of us knows tomorrow may be our last day on this earth."_

"If tomorrow is my last day what will you do when I'm gone?" Saïx questioned though he did have a small smirk on his lips preferring to treat this conversation as a joke as the thought of Xemnas being gone from his life made him very sick to his stomach.  
_  
"Go straight."_

"Very funny." He smiled at him.

"Alright what would you do then?" He countered.

"I don't know." He laid his head back down on his chest. "Pretend you're still here and live my life like you never left."

"I wouldn't like that." Xemnas scowled at the top of his head. "I'm not the only person in this world that loves you." He wrapped his arms around him and held him tight as they both went silent. "He would love you as much as I do." He whispered quietly to himself

"What?"

"Nothing." He rolled them over so he was hovering over him. "I was just saying since I have you naked in my bed I may as well take advantage of the situation." He leered.

Saïx rolled his eyes. "Don't be so perverted."

"It's not perversion that drives me," he smirked. "it's this." He leaned down and pressed their lips together.

Saïx held to the being above him tightly not wanting to let him go ever. If he could ever say he loved anyone in his life it was Xemnas and he was sure Xemnas was the only person in the world that ever loved him back. "Don't ever leave me." He pleaded when Xemnas pulled away to stare at him.

"I can't say that." He brought his hand up to caress his cheek. "What I can say is that I will always be with you in your heart even if I'm gone."

Saïx frowned at that for those were not the words he wanted to hear. "Then lie to me."

"I won't do that either." He gave a small smile. "Like I said someone else out there loves you and if I'm ever gone you have to find him."

"Who?" He drew his brows deeply. "And why do you keep saying that? Are you dying?"

"No I'm not dying I just want you to realize that you are loved and by more people than you think." He pressed their lips together and began making hot love to his mouth then suddenly pulled away. "Open your eyes and see the people around you and you'll find him."

Saïx blinked his eyes open and stared at he ceiling of his room. "Xemnas." He whispered as the remnants of his dream flashed before his mind's eye.

He remembered that day the day they spent in bed when his parents were out of town. However that was not the conversation they had. No, what they talked about that day was stupid things that neither of them really cared about but talked just for the sake of talking.

So was the conversation in his dream his subconscious trying to tell him something or was it Xemnas trying to tell him something from the great beyond?

He was never one to believe that there was anything beyond this life once someone died. He always thought that those who did were deluding themselves especially when they would talk about being contacted by their dead loved one. Then there was his favorite people waking in the middle of the night and seeing their family member standing at the foot of their bed staring at them.

To him it was completely absurd. He always thought that if they loved you so much why would they only come to you one time, in the middle of the night, stand at the foot of your bed, and say nothing before vanishing. It was ridiculous.

Yet that was until he lost someone he loved. Now he wished Xemnas would appear before him in the middle of the night just to show him he was okay and not just some corpse buried deep in the dark cold ground.

He rolled over and curled up under the covers deciding that he was much too depressed to go to school today. His teachers wouldn't mind if he missed a day or two hell they'd probably thank him. It would give them a chance to catch up since he was over a moth ahead in all his classes.

He just wanted to stay in bed and finally truly mourn the loss of his first true love.

xx

"Saïx sweetie?"

Saïx blinked his eyes open then looked over at the woman standing in the doorway.

"Are you okay?"

He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Yea I'm fine." He nodded. "I just needed a day to think."

"Okay as long as you're not sick."

He smiled a small smile at her. "No I'm not sick." Though part of him really wished he was.

"Well that's good." She smiled back at him.

"What is that?"

She looked at the small package in her and shook her head with a silly laugh. "I swear sometimes I'd forget my own head if it wasn't attached. It's a wonder Lexaeus is as stable at he is with a ditzy mother like me." She again chuckled. "Anyway I found this on the doorstep when I got home. It has your name on it so it must be for you." She walked over to him and held it out for him to take.

Saïx stared at his name on the front of the package and knew immediately who it was from. "My secret admirer." He said mostly to himself.

"Secret admirer." She stared at the package in his lap. "Oh right! Lexy told me about it." She grinned hugely at him. "It must make you feel really good inside to know someone out there loves you."

Those words echoed through is mind like the chiming of a church bell. They were the same words Xemnas had said to him in his dream. "It does." He nodded as he stared at the box.

"Well I'll leave you alone for a bit." She placed a small kiss on the top of his head. "Have you eaten today?"

"No." He gave a small shake of his head.

"Well how about I fix you some lunch and give you some time alone with your secret admirer."

"Thank you ." He nodded but maintained his stare upon the small box. "Too big to put in my locker." He whispered to himself once she was gone.

He pulled the lid off the small box and drew his brows at the smaller box inside that look suspiciously like some sort of box you'd get from a jewelry store.

"It can't be." He gave a curt shake of his head and removed the smaller box ignoring the small card underneath it for the moment.

He lifted the lid on the small gray box and widened his eyes hugely then snapped the box closed not believing what he saw. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes in an attempt to clear his vision then opened them again at the same moment he opened the box.

Sure enough his first sight of the diamond earrings inside was exactly the same as his second. He snapped the box shut then looked down at the small card he wished he would have paid attention to first maybe it would have eased the shock a little.

He set the little box containing the earrings aside gently like they would shatter if he wasn't careful and collected the card from the bottom of the box. He had to know what his secret admirer was thinking with giving him such an expensive gift. Maybe this time he would finally know who it was admiring him from afar.

_"My lovely little Saïx..."_

"Lovely?" He drew his brows deeply that word was very familiar and was used more than normal by... He drew his brows even further as he cycled through his list of friends to see who used it the most. "Marluxia or Luxord." He gave a small curt nod to himself then shook his head. "No it couldn't be either of them. Marluxia and I can't get along long enough to have a relationship and Luxord…" He sighed as the thought that it would never be Luxord made him ill to his stomach.

He dismissed his thoughts on his two friends and continued reading hoping there would be a better clue in the note than just a word that was familiar.

_"I missed seeing you today and hope all is well. I know your heart breaks and I wish I could heal it and perhaps in time I will be able to make all that pains you go away._

Just know that I do love you more than you could ever understand. I have loved you from the first moment I laid my eyes on you but because of your love for Xemnas I never told you how I felt... still feel.

I've been waiting for the right time to heal your heart but until you release your pain I can do nothing but wait. Please don't make me wait any longer for I don't know that I can. Let your past go so you can find a better future... with me.

Your Secret Admirer...

P.S.

Diamonds suit you better than silver ever could."

He reached up and touched the silver stud in his left ear as he flipped the card over hoping to find more only to find nothing. As he stared at the very last sentence his brows furrowed even further.

"Xemnas." He whispered.

Xemnas had told him more times than he could count that his silver earrings didn't suit him and he would look better with diamonds. But it couldn't possibly be Xemnas as his secret admirer he was quite dead he watched him die in his lap.

So who was it? No one else ever told him that at least he couldn't remember anyone saying it.

He gave a small shake of his head he was getting nowhere. He needed to look at this from a whole new angle. Mainly who did he know that could afford to buy diamond earrings?

Marluxia had that kind of money but again there was no way it could possibly be him.

Zexion... He nearly laughed at the thought. Zexion may have the money and the means but the boy was in love with his books and as far as anyone knew he never dated anyone in his life. So he was definitely out.

Xaldin was that kind of rich that you didn't know he was rich unless you were a part of his inner circle. However Xaldin was dating if one could call their relationship dating but as far as he knew Xaldin was with Xigbar.

Lastly there was Luxord who was born with the preverbal silver spoon in his mouth and he too didn't look the sort to have the kind of money his family had.

Of his four rich friends Luxord's was the second most richest coming in just under Zexion's family.

As the four names cycled through his head and he thought about why and why not it could be anyone of them he realized he was still no closer to figuring out who it was than the day he received his first card. For all he knew it was none of them and could just as easily be anyone at school.

Why couldn't whoever it was just come out and tell him? Were they scared he wouldn't want anything to do with them? Was it someone he actually hated but they loved him and the conflict between them would be hard for both of them to overcome? Maybe it was a she and because he wasn't into girls she didn't know how to come out and tell him. Or maybe it was a he that had yet to announce his sexual preference and was just waiting for the right time to do so and then tell him he loved him.

There were so many questions and even fewer answers and when it came right down to it he didn't need this in his life right now. He was mourning his lost love, he broke his friendship off with his best friend, he was virtually homeless, and had next to nothing to his name. Why in hell would anyone want to be with him? He didn't even want to be with himself what he would give to be someone else or born to better parents than the ones he had. A whore drug addict and a strange man that paid his mother for sex. Oh what a life to be proud of!

xx

"You go from skipping half a day to a full day?" Luxord stared at his friend with an arched brow. "That's very unlike you."

"It is like me when I need a break." Saïx growled. "Why are you even talking to me? We're not friends anymore so I don't see where what I do would matter in the least to you."

"Just because you say it doesn't make it so." He growled. "It's not over until we realize that our problems are unfixable and as far as I can see we haven't even tried to fix them in the first place."

Saïx stared hard at him. "That's because I know they are unfixable." He bit out. "Like I said unless you can change yourself my problems will continue to be as they are."

"Change myself?" He arched a blonde brow highly. "And do tell when ever has me being who I am been a problem for us? As near as I can tell it is you that needs to change and change back to what you were instead of what you now are."

"And what am I?" He growled threateningly.

"A moody little bitch that has turned his entire world upside down because of a bloody kiss."

"You had no right." He hissed through his teeth. "You mocked who I am for the sake of your own personal gain."

"I would hardly call it mocking." He snorted.

His amber eyes narrowed to deadly little slits as he stared up at him. "And what would you call it then?"

"A kiss and nothing more."

He could feel the blood pounding through his veins as he fought to keep from beating him to a bloody pulp at his feet. "Go away from me right now." He bit out darkly. "Before I kill you with my own bare hands."

Luxord narrowed his hard cold blues upon the boy and gnashed his teeth together. "That's it!" He growled, grabbed Saïx by his shirt collar, and began dragging him down the halls towards the exit.

"Let me go!" Saïx tried to jerk his hand off his shirt only to have Luxord tighten his grip.

"I don't think so." He pushed the door open leading to the parking lot open and jerked Saïx through it. "We are going to fix this shit and we are going to fix it today!" Again he gave Saïx a hard jerk when the boy tried to pull away from him.

xx

As Saïx was shoved into the car a small piece of pink paper wedged between the seat and the center console caught his attention. Had it been anyone else's car he would have paid no mind to it however when it came to Luxord's car any piece of anything out of place demanded full attention.

Luxord was a thorough believer that a car's only purpose was to transport a person from point A to point B and any other points they needed to get to. Cars were NOT for eating in that's what kitchens at home and restaurants were for nor were they for sleeping in. Why have a bed at home if you're going to sleep in your car?

When it came to Luxord's car under no circumstances were you allowed to eat, sleep, or even drink in his vehicle so a scrap of paper between the seat was completely odd. Just as he pulled it out he barely had enough time to crumple it up into his hand when Luxord got in on the driver's side.

"I don't see why you insist on maintaining this sham of a friendship." He growled at him.

Luxord cast a quick glare over at Saïx. "So now our friendship is a sham. I'm certainly glad;" he growled as he pulled out onto the street to head to his house. "I have you to decided what my friendships are and are not. I couldn't possibly do it without you." He drawled out sarcastically.

"I didn't say friendships!" He bit out. "I was talking about us and if you patronize me again I swear I will gut you like a pig."

He glowered at him for a second then turned back to the road and did exactly what Saïx told him not to do. "It's good to know that I have put so much time and effort into this sham of a friendship. I don't know about you but I find immense enjoyment in wasting my time on things that aren't real and spending YEARS doing it!"

Saïx could see nothing but red and if Luxord wasn't driving in effect putting him in control of his life at the moment he would punch him squarely in the mouth. "This is exactly why we should end this." He bit out. "This isn't working." He sighed deeply causing most of his irritation and anger to dissipate.

"Only because you don't think it is." Luxord matched his sigh. "I have known you long enough to have a good grasp of your M.O. and this is just another one of your _'it's easier to run away then face the reality of a situation'_ things that you do. Well you can try to run but I'm not going to let you."

"I'm NOT running!" He growled hating that Luxord did in fact know him so well.

"Oh?" He looked over at him with an arched brow. "Then do tell what is IT then?"

Saïx looked away and stared out the window. "Saving us both from a lot of pain."

Luxord grunted at that. "You want to save me from painful experiences then perhaps you should stop being such a bloody bitch about everything."

Saïx snapped his head around and glowered at him. "If you weren't driving right now I swear I would beat you to death!"

Luxord cast a death glare his way but said nothing since they were getting nowhere anyway. No; he would deal with Saïx thoroughly once they got to his house then beat some seriously needed sense into his hard thick skull.

xx

Saïx got out of the car and stormed into the house making sure to slam the door in Luxord's face.

"That's mature." Luxord snorted as he entered the house and followed Saïx into the living room.

Saïx spun to face him. "I am really close to hitting you right now so I strongly suggest you tread lightly." He growled coldly as he tightened his fists forcing him to remember he had a piece of paper in his hand.

"Look..." He started but was interrupted by Saïx.

"Can you get me something to drink?" He questioned practically out of nowhere.

Luxord arched a brow at him for a moment before he nodded with a sigh. "Very well but this isn't over." He leveled him with a hard stare.

"Fine!" Saïx bit out and matched the look he was giving him.

"Bloody uppity bitch." Luxord grumbled as he stormed out of the room.

As soon as Luxord was out of sight he unfurled the paper in his hand and instantly paled as his eyes widened in shock.

"Here's..." Luxord came back into the room with a soda can in his hand but stopped when he saw the paper in his friend's hands.

"It's you." Saïx whispered though kept his eyes locked on the paper. "You're my secret admirer." He wanted to look up at Luxord and see if it was true but didn't dare just in case there was a possibility that it wasn't.

"Is that what you want?" He questioned as he set the can on the coffee table and stared at his friend trying to get him to look at him.

"More than anything in this world." He answered in a choked whisper.

Luxord walked over to his friend, grabbed him by the face, and slammed their lips together forcefully as soon as the words left his lips.

Saïx could do nothing but stand there in shock and let Luxord do whatever he wanted to him. This was all so surreal Luxord was kissing him and it meant something it wasn't just some bet he was trying to win.

However as unreal as this suddenly was he was quickly snapped to full attention when Luxord began roughly jerking on his shirt pulling it free from tucked within his pants. His large hands latched onto his waist and he began leading him backwards towards the stairs all the while making sure to keep both their mouths working fast and hard.

When Saïx wrapped his arms around his neck he slipped his hands down around his back to pick him up and carried him up the stairs heading for his room.

xx

Luxord stroked his fingers though the blue hair of the being pressed against his side causing him to smile up at him. "Why did you never tell me?"

Saïx sighed deeply causing his smile to fall away. "I didn't want to risk losing our friendship."

"That makes no bloody sense." He stared at him with brows drawn deeply. "You tried to end it because of it. You should have just told me and let me decide how to feel about it instead of making things so complicated and damn near costing us both dearly."

"I know." He sighed and rolled over facing away from his friend. "But there was more to it than that."

Luxord knew exactly what he was saying and sighed deeply. "I don't think he would think you betrayed him."

"He doesn't but I did." He whispered as the pain of facing his loss fully was still raw. "Maybe things would be easier had we not been separated when things between us were so bad."

"Everyone has fights it's human nature to clash but as long as you still love each other no matter what is said then it's never as bad as you think it is." He pulled on his shoulder to turn him over. "Look at us we fight all the time."

"Only because you always have to be right about everything." He glowered up at him.

"Because I am right and you just want to be stubborn and make things more difficult than they have to be." He smirked at him. "I believe Marluxia rubbed off on you."

"Don't be so stupid I am nothing like that drama queen." He glowered at him.

"So said the boy who nearly destroyed our friendship because I kissed him which is exactly what he wanted in the first place." He snorted and got out of the bed. "I know you too well and as much as you don't like it you ARE a drama queen."

"I hate you!" Saïx growled at him as he threw the pillow at his head.

Luxord easily dodged the projectile as he slipped his sweats on then picked up the pillow as smirked at him. "Point and case." He held the pillow up for him to see. "When you are done throwing your fit I'll be downstairs." He tossed the pillow back onto the bed.

"I'm not throwing a fit!" He growled.

"With a statement like that you are; perhaps a nap then?" He smirked. "Princesses need a lot of sleep to maintain their beauty and sweet disposition." He nodded thoughtfully. "Though in your case I highly doubt you can sleep that long."

"Get out!" He again flung the pillow at his head. "I hate you!"

Luxord turned for the door. "As I suspected someone needs a nap. Alright princess you rest and I'll wake you when lunch is ready." He left the room chucking at the flurry of vulgar insults Saïx was flinging at his retreating form.

Once downstairs he turned the TV on to create some noise then picked up the piece of paper Saïx was looking at from where he dropped it. His brows drew deeply as he stared at the crumpled receipt for a pair of diamond earrings. "Where did he get this from?" He questioned quietly to himself as he continued to eye the paper over. "And why would it make him think I was his secret admirer?"

It suddenly clicked. Whoever was his secret admirer obviously bought him the earrings he was wearing them after all but that didn't explain where he got the receipt from.

His eyes suddenly widened hugely as it all came together. "Marluxia." He whispered in shock remembering Marluxia asking him to take him to the jewelry store to help him pick out some earrings for his mother's birthday. He did think it strange that Marluxia would ask him to take him but figured it was just one of those weird Marluxia things that were completely unexplainable.

He picked his cell phone up off the counter by his car keys and quickly shot off a message to Marluxia to call him as soon as he got a chance. He had to find out what the hell was going on.

It wasn't long after sending the message that his phone began vibrating madly. "It was you!" He growled into the phone.

"Is this how you always answer the phone?" Marluxia questioned in a huff.

"In this case yes." Luxord countered. "Now I want the truth it was you wasn't it?"

"Me what?" He sighed. "What are you talking about?"

"You were the one playing as Saïx's secret admirer; weren't you?" He hissed quietly with a glance to the stairs to make sure Saïx wasn't on his way down. He walked to the front door to take the conversation outside to make sure he couldn't hear him.

"Why are you asking?" He questioned back suspiciously.

Luxord sighed deeply through his nose nearly irritated with this whole mess. "Diamond earrings?" He questioned threateningly.

"Ah so Saïx must have found the receipt I left in your car." He smirked over the phone. "Was he wearing them?"

"Yes but that's not the point." He growled.

Marluxia sighed deeply beginning to get more than just annoyed with him. "Then what is the point?"

"You set us up."

"Yea so what." He huffed. "He loves you, you love him, and both of you were too stubborn to do anything about it so I did. I don't see what the big deal is."

Really what was the big deal? Everyone got what they wanted and no one got hurt... well not from anything Marluxia was doing anyway. "If Saïx ever finds out..."

"So what if he finds out." He bit out interrupting him. "You two are together; aren't you? Of course you are that's why we are having this conversation after all." He answered for him. "It's what he wanted, its what you wanted, hell it's what everyone wanted so Saïx would quit being so fucking bitchy about everything. I only gave you both the push you needed to take that last step."

"He won't like being toyed with like that." He countered weakly.

"Fine," he rolled his eyes. "if he finds out I will deal with him since apparently I'm the only person in the world that can handle Saïx's temper tantrums. Just go back to bed with him and don't worry about it as long as he's happy and not pining over the loss of Xemnas every other second then that's all that matters. Give him something else to pine over." He ordered in a huff then hung up the phone.

Luxord pulled the phone from his ear and stared at it. Why did talking to Marluxia always give him a headache or feel like he was on the verge of getting one?

He shook his head and went back into the house. As much as he didn't want to admit it Marluxia was right. Saïx was happy, he was happy, they were together, and if it was because of Marluxia's manipulating behavior then who cares. Everything worked out fine in the end. He looked up the stairs towards his room and smirked.

"Yes everything worked out just fine indeed." He grinned then headed for the stairs to go to his room and aggravate the being that was naked and practically defenseless in his bed. He loved the real Saïx which was the Saïx that was always on the verge of going completely insane and killing everyone around him.


End file.
